borowitzreport: Andy Borowitz
BREAKING: Rick Perry Receives Endorsement from Ancient Mayan Prophets: "The Right Man for 2012"
lizzwinstead: Lizz Winstead
Is there any way to permanently remove the people who attend GOP debates from every jury pool in America?
richardroeper: Richard Roeper
A man is putting his life on the line for our country, and you're going to boo him because he's gay? Assholes.
shannynmoore: Shannyn Moore
Michele Bachmann is like a crazy eyed Chatty Cathy Doll that keeps pulling her own string.
AlbertBrooks: Albert Brooks
Just hit by a piece of NASA satellite. If USA had any money I'd sue.