Undecided for President in 2012? Consider This!

Undecided for President in 2012? Consider This!

 Support Romney “Because He’s Been On Your Side At One Time Or Another”  Rep. Louie Gohmert

Illustration by Bill Ashworth

Culinary State Of Emergency At Nation’s Ballparks

BREAKING NEWS:
The United States Department of Disaster Relief has issued a warning of Severe Danger to Health and Pocketbook at the following two Major League Baseball stadiums:

The 8 Pound Strasburger, named after a Washington Nationals pitcher.

The 1lb "Champion Dog"

Ball Park at Arlington

$26

2-3000 Calories

North Korea expelled from AXIS OF EVIL

North Korea suffered another blow to its prestige as it was expelled from the Axis of Evil.

The decision was announced by the presiding Chairman of the Axis of Evil, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, who cited as the reason for the expulsion North Korea’s evident “lack of evil.”

“There are a lot of evil countries out there, Iran for one, who are trying to terrify the world by developing nuclear weapons,” he said. 

 “When North Korea launches a so-called ‘rocket’ and it goes about twenty feet before blowing up, that just makes it harder for the rest of us.”

Story by Borowitz

Illustration by Chadwick