10 Overlooked Reasons Romney Lost

1. Amish warlocks placed a curse on Mitt because he put a bonnet manufacturing company out business during his Bain years and was against the buggy bailout.
2. Democrats secretly distributed 200,000 copies of Fifty Shades of Grey to Republican women in Michigan, thus giving them something more satisfying to do with themselves than vote.
3. An astrologer in Budapest claimed that the position of Jupiter's third largest moon foretold that Democrats would win Ohio, thus affecting the vote there.
4. Secret Chinese experiments with electromagnetic rays caused Republican voters to go temporarily sane on November 6 and vote for Democrats.
5. An insidious Democratic cabal of scientists at NASA electronically altered the orbits of five tracking satellites, thus sabotaging the GPSs of Ohio Republicans who drove voters to the polls and, as a result, ended up in Canada.
6. Fortune cookies in Miami were biased, influencing elderly Jews to vote Democratic.
7. Kenyan operatives infiltrated polling places in Wisconsin.
8. False rumors that The Kingston Trio would be giving a free concert in Orlando on Election Day were circulated among young Republicans.
9. Obama's prayers to the Vishnu influenced the Latino vote.
10. In response to Romney's stand on immigration, aliens from the Andromeda Galaxy telepathically controlled the minds of a million Republicans, causing them all to vote for Obama.

Thanks to John Blumenthal